Friday I'm on Drugs

I was really trying to avoid it, but every song I seem to hear lately, if I've got lyrics that aren't offensive, it's about food. I heard The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" and I thought I'd be writing "Just Like Lemons." I started it even and the first line cropped up as a grizzly "Show me how you slit your wrists," and that's no fun for anyone. But I stuck with The Cure and I'm going to reach back to a little tried and true "Friday, I'm on Drugs." Truthfully this isn't very fair because I have a feeling I'm going to have to change only a very few of the lyrics. Oh well, I felt it'd been too long since the inaugural post. Oh, and here's a link because the original's hella tight. Cheers mates.

I don't care if Monday's pills
Tuesday's meth and Wednesday kills
Thursday I don't care about food
Come Friday, I'll need more drugs

Monday I might fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday stop my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start
On Friday, there're more drugs

Saturday, waif
And Sunday always get real baked
But Friday, never hesitate...

I don't care if Mondays crack
Tuesday, Wednesday - heart attack
Thursday, sounds perfect for smack
Come Friday, it's more drugs

Monday, I can't feel my head
Tuesday, Wednesday might be dead
Or Thursday - watch the walls instead
Then Friday, it's more drugs

Saturday, waif
And Sunday always get real baked
But Friday, never hesitate...

Got bloodshot eyes
It's no real surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing down with some brown
And just smiling at sounds
I'm so thin it's a sin
Spinning round and round
Always take a big hit
It's such gorgeous shit
Make me sink into the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
Yes Friday there's more drugs

I don't care if Monday's pills
Tuesday's meth and Wednesday kills
Thursday I don't care about food
Come Friday, I'll need more drugs

Monday I might fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday stop my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start
On Friday, there're more drugs

Leftovers (Back)

Since this is the old inaugural post I figure I should go ahead and have a little introduction. Forever and ever, or at least for a pretty long time — a period of time that feels long ago in my own memory — I've enjoyed concocting freestyle song parodies. Doing that kind of thing off-the-cuff is one of the few strengths I have. This is, of course, different than what I'll be doing here, which is actually writing down the parodies. I'm going to I guess write them as the mood strikes me. This first little ditty is sung to the tune of Mr. Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback". Man, when this song first came out, I thought it was shoddily and grimily produced, but then it infected my brain just as it did for so many others. The idea here, which I will espouse in my description (sorry for the redundancy) is that I will compose these parodies in a half hour or less, and Hell, it's free either way. I'm considering lowering it to fifteen even. Song suggestions (as in song to be parodied) and a theme by which to parody are accepted; otherwise I'll just do what I do, listen to that drummer folk who always fails to play the cymbal crash after my most terrible of jokes. Cheers!


I'm bringin' left-overs back,
So if I'm hungry I can have a snack
Got four more sliders in my slider sack
Just heat 'em up and then you throw 'em back

Put 'em in the fridge

[Here is the bridge, or in my case the fridge]

Hungry babe?
Order a milkshake
Your gonna like the taste
But once it's melted know it can't be saved
That's why I get food you can stow away

Take off in my Taurus

[This is the chorus, or in my case, the Taurus]

Don't ever hurl
Pack it up when you done with it
Once it's wrapped
It's okay to be done with it
RIP
'Cause you didn't eat all of it
Caffeine free
Go ahead, put Sprite in it
Let me see what we're workin' with
Nevermind put Coke in it
Pack up those chips
You know you're done with 'em
It makes you smile
Go ahead, reheat it
It's not wild
Cellophane wrap it
And get ya savings on
Go ahead and wrap it

Get ya savings on
Go ahead and wrap it
[Repeat six times]

Get ya savings on

I’m bringing leftovers back
Them other fuckers try to say I'm whack
Tryna front like they ain't tryna snack
'Cause eatin' frequently I burn more fat

Look inside my fridge

[Fridge]

[Taurus]

[Verse 3]
I’m bringing leftovers back
You mother fuckers watch how I attack
If it's an entree you best get fries with that
Cause a value meal can be a late night snack

Drive off in my Taurus...

There she goes. I'm not gonna lie, I was doing other things, but that took me damn near my stated thirty-minute max and that was not a very lyrically-laden song.