Dehydrated

I gotta say, I was always a big fan of Avril Lavigne's first hit "Complicated." With my love of bowel-related humor I may have headed for constipated, but Weird Al was way ahead of me on that. Well, at least when it comes to copyrighted publication because I've been free-styling awful parodies for years. So here I roll with "Dehydrated."



Uh-huh,
Life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is
'Cause life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is

Chill out,
What you drinkin' for?
Lay back, you shouldn't have no more
And if you could only stop at three
You would see

I like you the way you are
When we're, driving in my car
And you're talking to me
One on one
But you become

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Sweat down your back
You just took Xanax
You're tryin' to be cool
You're drunk as a fool
Can be

Tell me

Why'd you have to go and get so dehydrated?
I see the way you
Have about 14 drinks and you're getting faded
Life's like this, you
Drink then you smoke
Then you eat taco bell then you wake up feeling
Like your bowels really need to be evacuated

Gross, gross, gross

You threw, up, on my couch
Messed up, left an awful smell
What you are is
Getting fat, you see
You're making me
Cry out
When you puke out your nose
And it gets all over your clothes
You know
You're not pleasing anyone
When you become

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Sweat down your back
You just took Xanax
You're tryin' to be cool
You're drunk as a fool
Can be

Tell me

Why'd you have to go and get so dehydrated?
I see the way you
Have about 14 drinks and you're getting faded
Life's like this, you
Drink then you smoke
Then you eat taco bell then you wake up feeling
Like your bowels really need to be evacuated

Gross, gross, gross...

Chill out,
What you drinkin' for?
Lay back, you shouldn't have no more
And if you could only stop at three
You would see

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Sweat down your back
You just took Xanax
You're tryin' to be cool
You're drunk as a fool
Can be, can be

Why'd you have to go and get so dehydrated?
I see the way you
Have about 14 drinks and you're getting faded
Life's like this, you
Drink then you smoke
Then you eat taco bell then you wake up feeling
Like your bowels really need to be evacuated

Gross, gross

Why'd you have to go and get so dehydrated?
I see the way you
Have about 14 drinks and you're getting faded
Life's like this, you
Drink then you smoke
Then you eat taco bell then you wake up feeling
Like your bowels really need to be evacuated

Smelly Fart

Well I was just lying here and I cut one that was a bit brutal and so I figured I'll drop a quick little parody based on the Bruce Springstein hit "Hungry Heart." I fear this is not the first, nor the last of my parodies to devolve into bowel humor, but such is my way.


Got a rice and beans burrito with cheddar jack
I went out for Taco Bell and my gas came back
Like a river that just won't stop flowing
I got extra fire sauce and my bowels kept going

[CHORUS]
Sometime's you gotta rip a smelly fart
Sometime's you gotta rip a smelly fart
Bowels get runny and the burning starts
It's first preceded by a smelly fart

I ended up there after I was out at the bar
Felt all that fire sauce coming out my back end
I ordered four items and ripped my stomach apart
Now here I am on the toilet again

[CHORUS]
Sometime's you gotta rip a smelly fart
Sometime's you gotta rip a smelly fart
Bowels get runny and the burning starts
It's first preceded by a smelly fart

SOLO

Every drunk thinks this place's the best
You can order in or you can take it home
Don't make no difference what a nutritionist says
Ain't no drunk who leaves this place alone

[CHORUS 3-4x]
Sometime's you gotta rip a smelly fart
Sometime's you gotta rip a smelly fart
Bowels get runny and the burning starts
It's first preceded by a smelly fart