Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Drip Drop

I think this Tik Tok song is silly, but it's catchy too. I have reason to doubt the party animal ways of Ke$ha, but that's unrelated for the most part. I think my parody is also silly. I try to keep my parodies PG (for the purposes of the Internet...in real life, oof), but if you know me in real life I have a tendency for mentioning things dealing with poo. I also run a bit and have for a while. Without any marathons under my belt, I think this will sort of work. Yah.

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
(Hey, what up world?)
Gonna run a marathon I choose New York City (Let's go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a rock of crack
That don't make any sense, but my rhymes are notably whack
I'm talking - blisters on my toes, toes
Wearing my fave running clothes, clothes
Roads blowing up my bones, bones
Ipodding, playing all my fave mp3's
Pulling up to the port-a-potties
Trying to get out all my poopie

[CHORUS]
Had to stop, gotta plop
Diarrhea, blowin' toilets up
Tonight, Imma shite
Til my bowels are alright
Drip drop, that's my plop
But my bowels won't stop
Oh oh, oh no
Oh oh, oh no
[CHORUS]

Aint got a care in this race, except my delicate rear
Aint got nothing but this liner, so hope a toilet is near
Now, the fatigue is catching up and I'm starting to stagger
Gonna crouch at the curb so I can relieve my bladder
I'm talking about - posture really startin' to slump, slump
Boy am I feelin' like junk, junk
Later on gonna get falldown drunk, drunk
Now, now - I'm gonna try not to drop on out, out
Even with my energy all down down,
Energy all down, down
Energy is all -

[CHORUS] x2
Had to stop, gotta plop
Diarrhea, blowin' toilets up
Tonight, Imma shite
Til my bowels are alright
Drip drop, that's my plop
But my bowels won't stop
Oh oh, oh no
Oh oh, oh no
[CHORUS]

Gatorade, you pick me up
I break you down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
About to throw up
You got me now
My head it pounds
Yea, you got me
Gatorade, you pick me up
I break you down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
About to throw up
About to throw up
About to throw up
No, the pooping won't stop even when I'm walkin'

[CHORUS] x2
Had to stop, gotta plop
Diarrhea, blowin' toilets up
Tonight, Imma shite
Til my bowels are alright
Drip drop, that's my plop
But my bowels won't stop
Oh oh, oh no
Oh oh, oh no
[CHORUS]

Friday, May 7, 2010

Cultured Yogurt Smoothie

Alright so a little parody seemed long overdo. I am low on sleep, energy, things of that sort, but if those sound like excuses it's because they are. So this should turn out as good or better than past efforts. Song selection this go 'round is Living Colour's lone hit (that I can recall) "Cult of Personality." Now, right up until I decided to use this song I thought the title was "Culture Personality." It now makes so much more sense. This is one of those songs I neither like nor dislike and yet know quite intimately. Funny how that works.

Look into my cup, what do you see?
Cultured yogurt smoothie
It's not frozen yogurt, it's not ice cream
It's a hell of a lot more healthy
It's a cultured yogurt smoothie
With Stonyfield's or Dannon fat-free
It's a cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie

Active cultures, it has inside
The public eats the media lies
You don’t have to be hungry
You can make a light snack of me
I have the bacteria you should eat
Smiling faces sell me on your t.v.
I’m the cultured yogurt smoothie
I exploit you still you love me

I'll help you poop more regularly
I’m the cultured yogurt smoothie
Use Yoplait and Breyer's fat-free
To make a cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie

Active cultures, it has inside
A woman eats it to reduce her thighs
You don’t have to have me to eat
You can also take a bath in me

I cost a fortune
Economy's to blame
You gave me flavors not to taste the same
I’m what every person should have to eat
I’m the cultured yogurt smoothie
Look into my cup, what do you see?
Cultured yogurt smoothie
If I was paper, they'd make me in reams
You'd be able to write all over me
But I'm cultured yogurt smoothie
With Stonyfield's or Dannon fat-free
It's a cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie

Active cultures, it has inside
The public eats the media lies
You don’t have to be hungry
You can make a light snack of me
I have the bacteria you should eat
Smiling faces sell me on your t.v.
I’m the cultured yogurt smoothie
I exploit you still you love me

'll help you poop more regularly
I’m the cultured yogurt smoothie
Use Yoplait and Breyer's fat-free
To make a cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie
Cultured yogurt smoothie

Active cultures, it has inside
A woman eats it to reduce her thighs
You don’t have to have me to eat
You can also take a bath in me

I cost a fortune
Economy's to blame
You gave me flavors not to taste the same
I’m what every person should have to eat
I’m the cultured yogurt smoothie